SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"The Crime"<br /> <br />The police recently busted a man selling<br />'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave<br />eternal youth.<br /> <br />When going through their files, they noticed<br />it was the fifth time he was caught for<br />committing this same criminal medical fraud.<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />He had earlier been arrested in 1983, 1928,<br />1856, and 1794........... 
<br />______________________________________________<br />"A Bit Senile"<br /> <br />A couple are celebrating their fiftieth wedding<br />anniversary-they go down to their old school-<br />there, in a corner, they hold hands as they<br />find their old desk where he had carved, "I<br />love you, Sally."<br /> <br />On the way home, a bag of money falls out<br />of the armored car in front of them. She<br />picks it up and counts fifty thousand dollars.<br /> <br />The husband says, "We've got to give it back."<br /> <br />She says, "Finders keepers." And when they<br />get home she hides it in the attic.<br /> <br />The next day, two FBI men show up at their<br />home. They say, "Pardon me, did any one<br />in this house find any money that fell out of<br />an armored car yesterday?"<br /> <br />She says, "No."<br /> <br />The husband says, "My wife is lying, she took<br />the money and hid it in the attic."<br /> <br />She says, "Don't believe him, he's a bit senile."<br /> <br />So they sit the man down and begin to question<br />him. The FBI guy says, "Tell us the story from<br />the beginning."<br /> <br />The old man says, "Well, my wife and I were<br />on our way home from school..."<br /> <br />The FBI guy looks at his partner and says,<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Let's get out of here." <br />__________________________________________<br />"Leaving Shyness"<br /> <br />Do you have feelings of inadequacy?<br /> <br />Do you suffer from shyness?<br /> <br />Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?<br /> <br />If you answered yes to any of these questions,<br />ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.<br /> <br />Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and<br />more confident about yourself and your actions.<br />Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness<br />and let you tell the world that you're ready and<br />willing to do just about anything.<br /> <br />You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost<br />immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses<br />you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you<br />from living the life you want to live.<br /> <br />Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the<br />past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover<br />many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding<br />and start living, with Tequila.<br /> <br />Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who<br />are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila.<br />However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or<br />becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.<br /> <br />Side effects may include dizziness, nausea,<br />vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss<br />of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money,<br />loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table<br />dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth,<br />and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night<br />rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked<br />Twister.<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind. <br /><br /><br />(9746)
<br />______________________________________________<br />"A Bit Senile"<br /> <br />A couple are celebrating their fiftieth wedding<br />anniversary-they go down to their old school-<br />there, in a corner, they hold hands as they<br />find their old desk where he had carved, "I<br />love you, Sally."<br /> <br />On the way home, a bag of money falls out<br />of the armored car in front of them. She<br />picks it up and counts fifty thousand dollars.<br /> <br />The husband says, "We've got to give it back."<br /> <br />She says, "Finders keepers." And when they<br />get home she hides it in the attic.<br /> <br />The next day, two FBI men show up at their<br />home. They say, "Pardon me, did any one<br />in this house find any money that fell out of<br />an armored car yesterday?"<br /> <br />She says, "No."<br /> <br />The husband says, "My wife is lying, she took<br />the money and hid it in the attic."<br /> <br />She says, "Don't believe him, he's a bit senile."<br /> <br />So they sit the man down and begin to question<br />him. The FBI guy says, "Tell us the story from<br />the beginning."<br /> <br />The old man says, "Well, my wife and I were<br />on our way home from school..."<br /> <br />The FBI guy looks at his partner and says,<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Let's get out of here." <br />__________________________________________<br />"Leaving Shyness"<br /> <br />Do you have feelings of inadequacy?<br /> <br />Do you suffer from shyness?<br /> <br />Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?<br /> <br />If you answered yes to any of these questions,<br />ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.<br /> <br />Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and<br />more confident about yourself and your actions.<br />Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness<br />and let you tell the world that you're ready and<br />willing to do just about anything.<br /> <br />You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost<br />immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses<br />you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you<br />from living the life you want to live.<br /> <br />Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the<br />past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover<br />many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding<br />and start living, with Tequila.<br /> <br />Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who<br />are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila.<br />However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or<br />becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.<br /> <br />Side effects may include dizziness, nausea,<br />vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss<br />of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money,<br />loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table<br />dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth,<br />and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night<br />rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked<br />Twister.<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind. <br /><br /><br />(9746)
