What to do now???

[NOSLEEP]

Re: What to do now???

Take the time, make the time. Go with your Dad.<br />Tell him you have seen the performance his boat<br />and motor goes through, You got your boat fixed<br />up, and its about time you two got to fish<br />together on a trip again, and you gave it some<br />thought and thats what you would like to do.<br />Through the ball into his court.It wont hurt his<br />feelings, you will feel better and in the end<br />you will be glad you went and spent the time<br />together.

 

[Bigfun]

Re: What to do now???

Your fathers situation needs to be delt with in an honest and loving way thats what familys do. His saftey and ours is at risk. Being honest in a loving way is not disrespectful in this situation. His and others saftey trump any dignity concerns.

 

[marty_scher]

Re: What to do now???

Bigfun is right on.<br /><br />Unfortunately for you, It bullet-biting time. <br /><br />Your father needs someone else running the boat. Sound's like he's not doing so hot on the road either.<br /><br />Operating a boat in an age-impaired state is no different than the old folks who can't see, but still insists on driving the car.<br /><br />The results can be much more devastating than just tearing up your boat.<br /><br />It only takes once to ruin lives forever.<br /><br />Please do what it takes to get him off of the road and lakes.<br /><br />Good luck.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: What to do now???

Flahthead, I deal with older people who are losing their sight every day. One of the most humbling yet frightening things in their life is losing their independence. Losing the ability to drive whether its a car or a boat is huge emotionally. Be gentle when discussing his inability to handle the boat or better yet, like others have suggested, go with him. Just let him drive just a little ways when there is nothing in sight. I think he will come to his own realization if he hasn't already. No one wants to admit they just can't do some of the things they used to. I also have to admit, many elderly are in denial of this fact and if it is a matter of safety they need to be told.<br /><br />There's lots of good advice here.<br /><br />Good luck.

 

[bomar76]

Re: What to do now???

Here is my concern:<br />You know that you dad is really not a safe driver at this point.<br />From what you have realted he has NO BUSINESS pulling anybody's boat anywhere.<br />Knowing this, any thing that would happen - i.e. people he kills when he goes left of center after running off the berm - run aground and toss out a crony, etc - is on YOUR conscience...<br />Think about that.<br />I recall when my grandpa reached the age where he was a threat to others behind the wheel. His children reached the (difficult) consensus that he should no longer be allowed to drive and put in motion the mechanism to have his license revoked. He hated them for doing this to him for years, but they all slept well at night knowing that he and the public were much safer.

 

[SeaMasterZ@aol.com]

Re: What to do now???

hey flathead, I am getting a trailer that has a boat on it, 18 foot fiber tri hull, stable and shallow, everything I HATE in a boat, lol, if ya want to use the hull and have him put his motor on it, you are welcome to it!<br /><br />I need the trailer back by spring tho, if he sinks the boat I wont be upset, and hell have a hell of a lot harder time sinkin that boat than a 14 tinny!<br /><br />

 

[Carphunter]

Re: What to do now???

Have to agree with Ralph here. <br /><br />My Dad has had numerous strokes, and is unable to do many of the things he used to. We weren't going to let him get hurt, but some of these things he had to find out for himself. My Dad is much to proud of a man to be told he cannot do something. <br /><br />When I get older, and I struggle with the same issues, I can guarantee that nobody will tell me what I can and cannot do. I will be the only person that will determine that, and if I can't do something, I will have to find out for myself that I can't................. I think thats called living.<br /><br /> If you strip away a mans dignity, especially at an older age, what does he have to live for? Your Dad has lived his whole life, making his own decisions, let him continue to do so while he still can.<br /><br />A little white lie to save a gentlemen's dignity, especially in the twilight of his life, is acceptable and appropriate in my book.<br /><br />Ryan, I doubt very seriously that you have never lied. Until you are in a position similiar to Flahtheads, then you won't understand. I have been in that position, and I understand. I don't consider myself a liar either, but as Ralph stated, there are certain times where a little white lie is appropriate.<br /><br />As for what you should do, I like the boat rental thing as an option.

 

[gaugeguy]

Re: What to do now???

So you have a heart to heart with him and tell him your concerns. What's to stop him from saying "Dang kid don't know what he's talking about", and take his own boat with the cronies. Now he's up there with an unreliable boat/motor.<br /><br />Tell him that if he breaks it, him and the cronies are gonna have to pay for it. <br /><br />My grandfather died while on his annual fishing trip in Alaska. That man lived the way he wanted to live and died the way he wanted to die.

 

[FLATHEAD]

Re: What to do now???

Carp hunter I know what you mean. He is a proud man, never had one thing handed to him, He worked for everything he has. Nobody ever told him what he could or could not do and they wont start to do that now. I could tell him he cant do this or cant do that till I am blue in the face, All it will do will **** him off. He would probably be pissed at me forever. No matter what I dont want that to happen. I will probably go with him. I am going to talk with him but I have to tread easy. He still thinks he's young LOL. You should hear him refer to people he see's as old men and old women.

 

[ahollinger]

Re: What to do now???

Flathead,<br /><br />I learned a while back the best way to intimidate someone is to use the very same tactics they used on you. If they think it will intimidate you, it is because they would be intimidated in the same situation. Same goes for respect. If they show you respect, use the same manner to repay the honor.<br /><br /> Being that this man raised you, how did he tell you “no” when your heart was set on something? If you think about that for a while, you might come up with an acceptable way of saying no. <br /><br />I don’t post much, but I lurk a lot, and I get the impression you are an upright guy. I suspect your father had a good bit of influence in your turning out this way. The fact that you are struggling with this tells me a lot about you and the man who raised you.<br /><br />Treat him as he treated you in similar situations. If you can recall a difficult time that he had to say no, remind him of it, thank him for it and explain why you look back on it now and see that he was right. Then explain your reasoning with him in the manner he would/did explain it to you.<br /><br />He showed you respect by raising you right. You owe him for it. <br /><br />I do not envy your position, but I admire you for thinking before acting. That is behavior to be proud of.<br /><br />Godspeed.