What would you do?

R

rwise

Captain
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
Messages
3,205
Re: What would you do?

SoulWinner I am a surviver, I will move on, and I hope to find a female that can be my queen and will treat me like her king! I am closer to my son than ever before, he has been very quite until a few days ago and now he's talking to me about so many things. My daughters have been great, they even pick "my new song" "F**k it (I don't want you back)" by Eamon a very angry white boy, I got a kick out of that. Now I can laugh, and talk about it without getting emotional, I am on the right track, Thanx.
 
pjc

pjc

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 29, 2003
Messages
1,856
Re: What would you do?

no cheating, but I joined the club last evening asking what some notes in a spiral book really were. 2000.00, 12-14 hours, 150.00 per hour.<br /><br />turns out my bride has filed for devorce, I hired a familar law firm today to console me.<br /><br />no sleep last night. woke at 3:30am yesterday and still up. no appitite. <br /><br />good Lord, my kids are 5 1/2, 7 1/2. this has been a long brewing situation of us growing further apart. I have as much blame as anyone......<br /><br />Asked her when she intended to have the service of documents done. Replied after my neck surgery Feb 13. Things have accelerated now.<br /><br />from past posts here and 'net sites that deal with divorce i know to take it easy, play nice, and most important is to settle all with my childrens interests first.<br /><br />sure hurts....been nine years five months since our wedding.......<br /><br />derrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
QC

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: What would you do?

Wow pjc, don't really know what to say . . . :( Please post if you just need someone to talk to. You can still be a great father for your kids. Hopefully your soon-to-be-ex will play nice and understand that you BOTH need to pursue any and all issues in favor of the children.<br /><br />Good luck!!
 
M

MYTJC

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jul 9, 2005
Messages
320
Re: What would you do?

Allow this moment. Allow this day.<br /><br />Allow the good things in life to come to you. Make the effort, but don't make it into a struggle. Let go of the need to fight against what is, and you will begin to allow the best of what is to be. Allow life to come in the exquisite, natural way that it will. Allow those around you to be who they are. Allow your own <br />words and actions to express the person you truly are. Allow the goodness that is surely there to become a part of each moment. Allow the value that is in every situation to make itself known and to grow. Allow your dreams to become real in their own way and time. Allow the very best in life, and it will be. God Bless
 
eeboater

eeboater

Commander
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
2,644
Re: What would you do?

Hey PJC... as someone whose parents got divorced when I was 7 years old... there is a very large and important piece of advice I can provide you.<br /><br />Before everything goes down, make sure you set an agreement with your ex that you will NEVER argue in front of your kids. In addition to that, NEVER make the kids feel obligated to make a decision toward one parent or another. <br /><br />Be nice, cordial and try to act comfortable around each other. The mentality that your kids would rather hear the truth that you hate each others guts is complete bullsh*t. Put on the show, they're young, they won't know the difference. If you want to be honest when they are 19... 24.. whatever so be it. <br /><br />My mom brought my brother and I to the local mall to hang out with a younger gal who used to babysit us on a regular basis. When we went home, I saw my dad finishing up packing up his truck. Dad moved to an apartment, mom did the same thing. Spent life with my Mom, visited my Dad on summers and holidays.<br /><br />We ended up moving to Wisconsin and my Dad stayed in Ohio. I only saw my Dad once a year for 6 weeks every summer. Living in Wisconsin, chances are I will never move to Ohio by Dad and as a result will never really get to know him. Life with Dad has become a highlight reel. It kills me when I think about it but it wasn't my choice for them to break up.<br /><br />Good luck.<br /><br />Sean
 
pjc

pjc

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 29, 2003
Messages
1,856
Re: What would you do?

'preciate the words and thoughts guys........<br /><br />derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....
 
heycods

heycods

Captain
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
3,941
Re: What would you do?

My kids stayed with me when I went through that. they were tenagers and knew that mom was cheating.<br />Im not sure I would have made it without them. Its tough times for sure. we were married 23 years. I didnt file she did, so she could live happily ever after with young boyfriend. Life has been hell for her since divorce, kids dont have much to do with her even 16 years later, she dumped them also. She wound up spending all the money she got in divirce on boyfriend, then he divorced her. BUTT I am going to tell you this<br />Life goes on new wife and I are going on year 14years and life is soooo much better. I wouldnt trade for my life with my wife. People used to ask me when I was single will you re-marry? My reply always was " as many times as it takes till I get it right. You got my e-mail Pat give me a holler, well talk. lwr
 
R

rwise

Captain
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
Messages
3,205
Re: What would you do?

pjc, it gets easier with time but it takes a while hang in there. What the other said about the kids, make them first, talk to them, don't talk about "her" if you can't say good things to them. Myself, I lost 17 lbs in 3 days, 3 more lbs the next 3 days, and 5 more over the next week, 25 lbs in all. So try to eat! And if you need someone to talk to heres my e-mail r54w04 (at) yahoo (dot) com ok it's not cut and past, and I check it often. Things will get easier, then better! Did/have you ask for counseling? I did and she turned it down flat just said no! And again the kids are the most important here.<br />Richard
 
M

Manipulator

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Apr 11, 2005
Messages
743
Re: What would you do?

First I would go out and cheat on her, then bring my new girlfriend back to the house while she was there, pick up my stuff, pick up the boat, empty the accounts and head off to the lake.
 
T

txswinner

Banned
Joined
Apr 24, 2005
Messages
2,326
Re: What would you do?

pjc, Do not agree to anything. Negotiate for everything. figure out what you want and go for double. If you want lots of visitation then demand lots of money and be willing to trade that for the visitation. Again do not agree to give her anything unless you get more for it.
 
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