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  1. M

    LF And Her Sister

    I heard this conversation the other day between LF and her sister who is also blonde.<br /><br />LF: "Which is further away, London or the Moon?" <br /><br />LF's Sister: "HELLOOOOO -- Can you see London from here?????!!!!!"
  2. M

    Yankee or Dixie?

    Check it out.....<br /><br /> http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html <br /><br />I'm only 51% Dixie :(
  3. M

    Calling all captains....

    How many here have a USGC captains lisence? Do you use it for anything? I've been thinking about taking the course just for grins to get the 6-pak lisence. <br /><br />Are there any drawbacks to having one?
  4. M

    Suggestions Needed

    LF & I are members of a Mardi Gras krewe. This year's MG theme is "Red, White & Blue". The first krewe meeting is tomorrow and so far we don't have any ideas for the float. Since there are so many creative folks here I thought I'd ask for suggestions. <br /><br />Info: There are 50 people...
  5. M

    A Blonde Goes To Court

    This is not a joke, it happened today. I am reporting the events as they were related to me.<br /><br />First a little background....<br />Last year a friend of ours died unexpectedly in his sleep. He had an ex that he was married to for about 20 years. Caught her cheating and divorced her. No...
  6. M

    Logs

    Does anyone else keep a log of their boat/boating? I know the guys with big cruisers and sportfishers do but how about guys with smaller boats?<br /><br />I've kept a log of everything related to our boat since the day we ordered it. Some of my friends think I'm AR about it. LF just likes to...
  7. M

    How To Avoid The Flu

    Due to the shortage of vaccine this year I've come up with my own method to avoid the flu bug:<br /><br />- Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.<br /><br />- Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin c.<br /><br />- Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps...
  8. M

    Pregnant Blonde

    A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"<br /><br />The husband said, "Great, ...why are you so happy?" <br /><br />"I'm pregnant!" she shouted. <br /><br />He said, "That's wonderful! Oh, baby, I...
  9. M

    Battery Vacuum

    The past few months I've been messing around with a jet ski that has been in storage for several years. One of the first things I did was buy a new Sears Die-Hard battery for it. I installed the battery & hooked it up but it has never really been used. I took it out today to put on the charger...
  10. M

    Age

    Now I know why I'm leery about seeing old classmates....<br /> <br />Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely, I can't look that old?"<br /><br />I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which...
  11. M

    On the road

    A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!" <br /><br />The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of...
  12. M

    Fair is Fair

    A year or so ago I made a post about the crappy service I was getting from Standard Horizon on my CP 150 GPS. 5 to 6 weeks for a repair.<br /><br />They must have changed their service department because I sent it back last Thurs. to have it repaired again. They returned it today. <br />Big ups...
  13. M

    Heavenly Clocks

    A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.<br /><br />He asked, "What are all those clocks?"<br /><br />St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands...
  14. M

    Congratulations Gauge Guy.....

    and the rest of you Bosox fans. See you Saturday!
  15. M

    The Restore Function Works!

    LF is out of town visiting her father. The one thing she expects is that I don't screw something up while she is gone. <br /><br />Tonight I got home and there was a notice on the computer saying that there was a microsoft update ready to be installed. I don't know crap about computer operating...
  16. M

    Good & Bad News

    Good: Astros won yesterday and their 20 game winner goes today<br />Good: Yankees hammered the sox yesterday<br />Bad: My April prediction of a Redsox/Astro World <br />Series will only be half right<br /><br />Good: The boat is running great<br />Bad: The live well pump and the GPS both went...
  17. M

    A Good Time Was Had By All

    The Gulf Coast Prevent Blindness fund raising dinner was held at Moody Gardens in Galveston last night. The event was a rousing success and raised more than was expected.<br /><br />I would like to congratulate my spouse, the executive director on a job well done. <br /><br />LF, you can come...
  18. M

    Heartwarming Story

    A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"<br /><br />The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks,<br /><br /> "Do you want a widdle white...
  19. M

    Another Jib Jab

    Not sure if this has been posted here before.<br /><br /><br /> http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/content/goodtobeindc/frameset.html
  20. M

    Surgeons

    Three Texas surgeons were having lunch together and discussing surgeries they had performed. <br /><br />One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I re-attached them and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of...
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