Tyme's response to a telemarketer

[Tyme2fish]

Anyone heard of Tom Mabe? Well this was my version recently.

Caller: Hello. May I speak to Tyme?
Me: This is Tyme. Who is calling please?
Caller: This is so and so calling from the Indiana Chiefs of Police Association.
Me: I swear I paid those warrants!! I don't want to go to jail!!
Caller: No. I'm not calling about anything like that. I'm calling to ask..
Me: Do you want money?
Caller: Well, we are asking donations for...
Me: I already told you I spent all my money on those last warrants and don't have a dime to my name.
Caller: Thank you. Click


Second Call(Automated voice) Please remain on the line while this call is completed.

Tyme: I remain on the line to hear what is going to happen.
Caller: (With an obvious Bangladesh/Indian accent). Ollo. This is Steve. To Cynthia (my wife's made up name) may I speak.
Tyme: This is Cynthia.
Caller: You are Cynthia? To me you do not sound like a Cynthia.
Tyme: Hey, you called me and now you disrespect me by making fun of my name!!!
Caller: Oh, so sorry am I. Please forgive me. I am calling...
Tyme: Hey "Steve" or whatever your real name is, I don't care why you're calling. You're wasting my time and disrespecting my name!! I then say some things that can't be repeated here and hear the phone click. He hasn't tried to call "Cynthia" since.

Yes. I am on the Do Not Call list but lately we have started to receive calls from outside the U.S.A.

I HATE TELEMARKETERS!!!!!! But I do enjoy playing games with them!!

 

[projecthog]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Hey Tyme....How's it going,
I had to laugh at your post. I am of the same opinion when it comes to Telemarketers and the like, and of late the auto phonecalls that you cannot call back or answer if you are not there right away.
They ring once or twice and then hang up only to store your name in a file that tells the rest of marketerdom that you didn't respond and need to be called again.
It can be worse when you get phone book surveys and live with family that's not connected by name and you have 2 or even 3 names in the book under the same number.

I have my own well practised answers to some of them, but the thing I had to learn was that rudeness bounces off the walls of ignorance, and is not productive in most cases, so now I indicate that I am not going to be interested and listen to their deals and free gift spiels and then take my time to listen (when I can) and let them go through their whole repertoire with a smile (Took a while to learn to leave the attitude out of it!) and then at the end calmly say thank you very much, but I am still not interested.
I am hoping that it teaches them to take the refusal the first time and stops them from running off at the mouth for nothing and wasting everyones time..

Take care PH.

 

[OldePharte]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Project Hog - I do the same thing and it drives the wife nuts. I'll tell them up front that I'm not interested, but their script has them continue. I put the phone on speaker and listen while working on something else. I may ask a question or two, then say no. If they continue on, I'll play along. The more they talk to me, the more commission they are losing since I already told them that I am not interested.

Tom Mabe has a you tube video of him going after a satellite telemarketer (?). He playing a cop at a crime scene.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Well the first thing I tell them is,that I am a paint contractor and I am 32 feet in the air on a ladder(actually I am standing on the ground at this point) they continue on with there pitch so I entertain them for a while(knowing full well they have so many minutes to close the deal) so somewhere near the end I say Oh God Help they hear a short scream and I drop the phone into something soft,sometimes it flips closed other times we act like something bad happen till somebody closes the phone.Most of the time it does get me off the list.I know that sounds mean but I get tired of answering those telemarketer calls they don't seem to understand the word NO

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

A link to Tom Mabe's revenge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&feature=related

 

[projecthog]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

LOL, OP,

I can well imagine some of the replies that have been, and still are being invented for the problem.

I had a Middle Easterner with a twister hairdo come to my door to sell me an Encyclopedia.

Now... you have to understand that I have been a Biker type Hillbilly, boating Redneck Dutchman for most of my life and only joined (or am still trying to join) the ranks of the more reasonable, sane and better educated populace.

I told him I was not interested and started to close the door.
He blocked with his foot, and a new strategy was born.

I let him in telling him that I was not interested and that I would not be buying his books.

He unpacked all his persuading gear and started on the conversion of the infidel (me.)
I asked if he wanted a coffee (before the show began.) got one myself and found my comfy spot and let him start.
He took about a half hour to go through the system and then with a smile told me that it could be all mine for a few pennies or less then a pack of smokes a day (1980's.) You can imagine a hard core Biker wanting to buy a set of books and spending good beer money on that!

I politely told him that I was not interested again, as I had said at the start, and thanked him for the demonstration.

He got angry in no time flat, and told me I was rude not to buy after I had let him do all the demonstrating.
I told him in a bit more serious and interesting way that I had told him no at the start and if he didn't want to go through life with a squeeky voice he should leave, but he didn't get the meaning quick enough.

After the cops came and evaluated the ordeal, they got rid of him and told me that I could have been arrested for the way I threw him out, but that I shouldn't worry too much as the guy had previous problems with his presentations and I had given them an avenue to curb the guys sales efforts. Then he smiled and said, I can't believe you let him in and do the presentation, never mind not hurting the guy!

He was the cop that I had a fight with when I was a few years younger, and after which we became friends. (That was his initiative, and I have never had a better friend.)

Some times they just don't even hear you when you say NO! Telephone marketers included.

PH.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

A link to Tom Mabe's revenge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&feature=related

Too frickin funny! I really enjoyed that!

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

When the Church Ladies come to my out in the country home, I just answer the door nekid with a beer in one hand a cigar in the other.

Not really, but I sure am tempted.

Great story PH. Thanks

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

I actually did a version of that, T2F. A young Jehovah's Witness couple used to come to my house on Sunday mornings when I was in college. They insisted on showing up at about 7am, so that they could "save me" - just what a college student, who had usually drained his last beer about 2 hours before, wanted to see!

The last time I ever saw them was the Sunday morning that my naked girlfriend stuck her head and chest out my bedroom window, which was right over the front door. I then excused myself by telling them that I was busy and had some "sinnin" to do. I was also sure to throw in the part about not being married!

 

[Bass Man Bruce]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

I can't do this anymore as our kids are no longer kids, but when they were a year or two old I would say one moment please and then hand the phone to the younguns. The kids loved it!

 

[OldePharte]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Jehovah Witnesses - OMG

Back when I was in the Navy, we lived in an off-base apartment in Long Beach. These two two young things came to our door. I promptly told them that I was a Druid and found great offense to them chopping down trees to spread their "word" and politely closed the door.

Unfortunately, they went to my neighbor. He was a very big and burly ex-seminary graduate, ex-Baptist minister, but I never did learn what he actually did for a living. Well, he had those two youngsters on the ropes for a good 45 minutes telling them how mis-guided they were and where they were headed. He was giving them a good old fashioned sermon. I almost thought that had them converted, when he promptly stopped mid-sentence, said "Ah nevermind" and slammed his door shut.

We then watched them as they decided to go downstairs and across the "green area" and knock on a door. The couple who lived there (both women) smoked pot on a regular basis. When the door opened, a cloud rolled out. We heard them invite them in for a little . . . . They left in a hurry.

They promptly left our complex and we never had any bible thumpers ever come back.

Damn, that brought back a flood of memories.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Aw heck, BMB - just pass the phone over my way. I'll give it to my 3 year old, who will promptly launch into a non-stop discussion about Thomas the Tank Engine. All aspects of life as a train on the island of Sodor, will be covered and will be repeated 87 times, before moving on to the next portion of the discussion.

 

[Mark42]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Sometimes I get those calls when cooking. I like to put the phone on speaker, and go about my business while they do their sales pitch. Every time they ask a question, I respond with " what? I wasn't paying attention, could you start over?" . Ususally they catch on after the second request to start over and just hang up.

 

[LetsGoBoating]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Jehovah Witnesses - OMG

You have no idea about these people, where I live in Chicago they come "every single weekend" at around 8:00am to preach the word. I purposely use my back door to enter and exit my house so I can leave my stairs nice and icey to keep them away... hell that still doesn't work.

 

[david_r]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys crack me up.

keep em comin..............im gonna try some of these!

the bad parts is they have a job to do......its hard to fault someone for trying to do their job........however annoying it may be.

you think telemarketers are annoyed by other telemarketers?.......or anyone else who does door to door?

maybe someone should find out their names and addresses, or phone #s, when they call/knock on the door and try pitchin them a deal !

you do have to admit they are highly motivated people...as said on previous posts they just dont take no for an answer.

 

[Mark42]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

You have no idea about these people, where I live in Chicago they come "every single weekend" at around 8:00am to preach the word. I purposely use my back door to enter and exit my house so I can leave my stairs nice and icey to keep them away... hell that still doesn't work.

Those people used to stop at my house every weekend. I was usually working outside, and they would pull up and get out all smiles and want to preach. So I would hand them a shove or rake or whatever I was doing and get them all organized to do yard work. I told them they could preach as long as they were working. Usually after about 15 minuts of hard labor, they just dissapeared. Apparently, they are not interested in working hard for Jehova.

Now when they drive past and see me working, they just keep on going. Word must have got around.

 

[Nos4r2]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

I have a sign on my front door in 3" letters that reads:-
NO JUNK MAIL.
NO COLD CALLERS.
NO JESUS FREAKS.

I was on the phone to work one day in a particularly important phone call when I was disturbed by two preachers holding the doorbell for 30 seconds.

I opened the door,still holding the phone and got the 'We'd like to tell you about something' line while they got a picture of Jesus out.
I looked down at the pic and said 'Is that Jesus?' and their spiel started.
The conversation went like this:-
'Does your church believe in literacy?'
'Yes'
'Can YOU read?' (pointing to the sign)
'Err...'
'I'll spell it out for you. **** off!' and shut the door in their faces.

I put the phone back to my ear and all I could hear was the whole office wetting themselves laughing. and the girl I was talking to said she'd always wanted to say that. They'd had me on speakerphone...

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

I used to work with a guy who was a maintenance manager. On the door of his shop, he had this sign:

"WE SHOOT EVERY THIRD SALESMAN ..... THE SECOND ONE JUST LEFT!"

 

[Bondo]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

Ayuh,...

I think I've posted here before about my Bud's who keep a freon powered Boat Horn beside the phone for these occasions,...
It usually only takes a single Blast into the phone to put an end to the call...
Although, a couple years ago, the guy called back to complain about it,...
He got a 2nd Blast...

As for the Bible Pounders,...
I used to just tell them I'm Catholic,...But of course they still wanted to convert me,...
That ended after I actually did the answer the door Naked thing,...
I haven't seen them in a couple years,...
Probably nearing the time they'll be back,+ I'll just do the same thing....Again...

Along these same lines,...
Has anybody been pestered to be a Neilson TV viewer,..??..??
Man,... These Nutjobs just can Not understand,... NO....
It started a few years ago when this fat Moron showed up at my door,...
After about 10 minutes of "blah, blah, blah".... No, No, NO...
I had to physically push him out the door...

Few months later,...
Same Moron shows up again,....
Same show as before,...
Difference was, instead of just shoving his fat butt out the door,..
I closed my inner door, which he blocked with his foot,....
Well,..... After saying NO for the Bazillionth time,..
I SLAMMED that nice heavy entry door on his foot,... He finally left,.. Limping...

A few months later,....
I'm out in the Shop working,+ a nice unknown car pulls into the drive,+ a Gorgeous long legged Beauty steps out, asking where Bill is,....
I could already see the Fire in my Love's eyes(Jealousy?) as I wandered over to see what's up,....
As I approach, she starts her speel,...
So,... I stopped her,+ asked if she, or the company she worked for understood English,..??
Then I asked her how many times they have to be told,....NO,..??
When that still didn't work,... I went OFF,....
Like projecthog,... I'm just a simple Yankee redneck,..and I didn't hold back,.. at All....
It's been over a year since that happened,....

Yesterday morning, about 9:am,.. There's a knock on the door,....
I see an older gentleman, I open the door,+ he asks if I'm Bill,..??
Ayuh I reply,+ Who are you,+ What do you want,..??

Ayuh,.... You guessed it,... Another Moron from Neilson ratings co.....

It didn't take as long to show him the road,... I hope he doesn't try to call back,...
As I threatened him with bodily Harm,+ Arrest if He, or Anybody else from Nielson should show up....

I'm thinking I might just have to call the national office of Neilson,+ tell them the same thing,...
'course,.. That might just make it Worse,.... Donno....

 

[OldePharte]

Re: Tyme's response to a telemarketer

At our city house, we get inner city kids being dropped off to go door to door selling candy bars of an unknown heritage. They need so many sales to get points towards a scholarship.

For these individuals, I try to be extra kind, but still say no. They are on a quarterly sales cycle.