wednesday Funny

88spl

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Mar 18, 2002
Messages
385
Re: wednesday Funny

Women Drivers<br /><br />I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver<br />cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive<br />on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered<br />the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped<br />the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself.<br /><br />I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a<br />female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:<br /><br />I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each<br />day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the<br />bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at<br />the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new<br />car every 40 feet per lane.<br /><br />That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be<br />982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the<br />32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least<br />another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,<br />000 cars I pass every day.<br /><br />Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,<br />000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.<br />According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as<br />dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the<br />National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously<br />considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men<br />as their biggest problem. That's 33.<br /><br />According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females<br />carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that<br />EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a<br />lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has<br />seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.<br /><br />Flip one off?<br /><br /> <br /><br />...think twice!
 

heycods

Captain
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Nov 11, 2005
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3,941
Re: wednesday Funny

I dunno Scrappy It may go up in a cloud of smoke, as in POOF :D :D But its still a goodun
 

Limited-Time

Vice Admiral
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Mar 30, 2005
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5,820
Re: wednesday Funny

Ah, a chance to LOL.............. B4 the big ZAP. Thanks scrapper :D :D
 

Reel Poor

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Jan 29, 2005
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Re: wednesday Funny

Late again. I hate it when I miss the good stuff. :( <br /><br />Anybody brave enough to repeat it??? :eek: :D
 

scrapper

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Sep 6, 2005
Messages
937
Re: wednesday Funny

Over the Line????? :confused: Where in Gods green land was there anything over the line???? I used no cuss words in there ! Me thinks Thou art to Quick on the POOF! JB :rolleyes:
 

scrapper

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Sep 6, 2005
Messages
937
Re: wednesday Funny

Originally posted by Reel Poor:<br /> Late again. I hate it when I miss the good stuff. :( <br /><br />Anybody brave enough to repeat it??? :eek: :D
Give me your email address & I ll send it to you.
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Mar 25, 2001
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45,907
Re: wednesday Funny

Subject matter, Scrapper.
 

heycods

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Re: wednesday Funny

Originally posted by scrapper:<br /> Over the Line????? :confused: Where in Gods green land was there anything over the line???? I used no cuss words in there ! Me thinks Thou art to Quick on the POOF! JB :rolleyes:
If you got screwed on a business deal thats just the way the world is. If you s****** a penguin your gonna go POOF. :D :D
 

heycods

Captain
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
3,941
Re: wednesday Funny

Originally posted by heycods:<br />
Originally posted by scrapper:<br /> Over the Line????? :confused: Where in Gods green land was there anything over the line???? I used no cuss words in there ! Me thinks Thou art to Quick on the POOF! JB :rolleyes:
If you got screwed on a business deal thats just the way the world is. If you s****** a penguin your gonna go POOF. :D :D
I think we all know we were pushing it on the sheep deal ;)
 
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