Re: What if Roe vs Wade was reversed.....
and<br /><br />
OUCH!!!! DJ, that's harsh....<br />However I do agree, mostly.<br /><br />I write from experience. My oldest son was born to a woman with whom I had relations prior to marriage. We became engaged shortly after finding out we we pregnant, but not because of the pregnancy. My son was born prior to our (never happened) marriage. He was five weeks old when she left me. She got what she wanted, so why keep me, she'd get child support. She told me she was using birth control, BC that I paid for. Later when my wife told her she wanted a baby but I wouldn't have any part of it she told my wife "Just quit taking the pill thats what I did!" I admit and accept that I should have been more responsible and not relied on her for birth control.<br />Anyway, I was the typical "Deadbeat dad" for the first couple years. My only defense was that she was receiving welfare and would have even if I paid regularly, so my child did not go without. After the first couple years I started paying regularly and only missed a payment if I lost my job. And I was current with my support after my son was four. As for being a man, I fought my co-parent for visitation, every year. I sought and won custody when my son was 10. At that time my co-parent and I had already had 9 modifications to my visitation arrangement. I would fight for visitation; she would deny me something that I had been enjoying so I would protest. The formerly enjoyed visitation provision would then be awarded. Like a holiday weekend would be extended to include the holiday, not just Fri, Sat, Sun like she all of a sudden dictated to me after four years of following the extended visit. During that 10 years she yanked him from Traverse City, MI to southern KY, then back to TC, MI. Then she was off to Sault Ste Marie, MI, then back to TC, MI. Then she disappeared for five weeks when she moved to Misery, I mean Missouri. She took off with him to MO and I found out by talking to her dad. She didn't contact me until the day she got her notice from the Fiend of the Court for a Show Cause hearing.<br />My co-parent frustrated my visitation every chance she got, she denied me visitation for months at a time, and then when it was inconvenient for her, I paid my support (after the first couple years) and have been the only consistent man in my son's life, besides her dad.<br />So DJ, am I a man? Did I own up to my responsibility to my child? Has she? A child has a need to have a relationship with their father, and I fought for that relationship. I won't bore you folks with the specifics of my custody battle, but suffice it to say she lost custody because surrendered our sin to her parents who live nearby, so she could stay in MO. During the seven months they had him, she saw him only during two weeks in the summer, and never filed for a change-of-domicile which would have allowed him to move to MO. I agonized for three months before filing for custody. Because I wanted to make sure I was seeking custody because I thought that was what was best for my son, not just to "Get even".<br />I had an advantage early on in my non-custodial parenthood. After several months fighting the FOC caseworker I finally gained his respect and he explained to me the court's outlook and why the office did what they did. It really opened my eyes. And because of that discussion, I always prevailed during visitation reviews, because I always had my son's best interest in mind. That caseworker really helped me understand it isn't about me, it's about my child.<br /><br />DJ, Im not trying to attack you, I agree with you. But I wanted to point out, even a custodial female can fail at being a MOTHER. Or at least be a poor one in regards to the best interest of her child, not herself..