best fishing and boating jokes around!

jjacobs007

jjacobs007

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Come on people lets hear the best fishing and boating jokes out there? stay on subject please! I have many but want to hear yours first.thank you.
 
JB

JB

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

Unfortunately, JJ, many of the funniest are not suitable for iboats because of various topics like politics, religion, ethnic prejudices, adult content or language.

I look forward to good, funny stories that pass and still have to do with boating and fishing. :)
 
Tim Frank

Tim Frank

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

JB said:
Unfortunately, JJ, many of the funniest are not suitable for iboats because of various topics like politics, religion, ethnic prejudices, adult content or language.
Click to expand...

^^^ as JB says....
But I'll try to find something in my collection....:)

How about:

TEN COMMON FISHING TERMS EXPLAINED

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.
 
MRS

MRS

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?:confused:
 
C

CR CRUISER

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

Bill stopped at the bar on his way home from work and had a few drinks. He started chatting with a cute woman and next thing he knew they were at her house going at it hot and heavy. He dozed off and woke up in a panic at 3:00AM thinking OMG what have I done, my wife's going to kill me.

He jumped in the car and headed home to certain doom. A block from the house he stopped and got out of the car, opened the hood and checked all the fluids and topped up the oil. When he walked in the front door, the wife was standing there with the LOOK on her face. He fessed up and told her what had happened. He had a few too many drinks and this woman had come on to him. One thing led to another and he was so sorry and it wouldn't happen again.

She looked him in the eye and with tears streaming down her face she replied. "I'm tired of your lying and cheating. I'm always second to your mistresses. I can't take it any more. Let me see your hands! A-ha, just as I thought, you've lied to me again! You were down working on a boat again, weren't you?"
 
paultjohnson

paultjohnson

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

Saw an old guy wearing a T-shirt yesterday that stated.... The day I quit lying, I caught a 15 lb Bass!!!..... Sorry, Its all I got at the moment....................
 
jjacobs007

jjacobs007

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. lol. The more you go the worse this gets right.
 
roscoe

roscoe

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

A carp, a trout, and a bass walk into a bar.......



....(you finish it)
 
jjacobs007

jjacobs007

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

roscoe said:
A carp, a trout, and a bass walk into a bar.......



the bartender must be a striper,all three start to play cutthroat,the trout says i can make that shot off three rails,then the bass says three?i can do 4 rails with that shot.Then the carp burps and farts stuffing his little mouth with popcorn and says what whales? kinda funny
Click to expand...
 
JB

JB

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

Well, if those are the best we are in real trouble. :(
 
JB

JB

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

You know a man is in love when he loses interest in fishing for a few days. :)
 
jjacobs007

jjacobs007

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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

JB said:
Unfortunately, JJ, many of the funniest are not suitable for iboats because of various topics like politics, religion, ethnic prejudices, adult content or language.

I look forward to good, funny stories that pass and still have to do with boating and fishing. :)
Click to expand...

watch out ancient there here!
 
jjacobs007

jjacobs007

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Joined
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Re: best fishing and boating jokes around!

JB said:
Unfortunately, JJ, many of the funniest are not suitable for iboats because of various topics like politics, religion, ethnic prejudices, adult content or language.

I look forward to good, funny stories that pass and still have to do with boating and fishing. :)
Click to expand...

you would think that after nearly 41,000 posts youd be funny! thats one too. you fishn from the kitchen sink too! just joken around,dont take seriously bro.
 
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